Losing my Facebook account wasn’t such a bad thing…

In April 2021, when my account was hacked and I realized there was no human to connect with to get my account back, I conceded that I was done.

I joined Facebook in the fall of 2008 after the urging of a high school friend.  I remember being hesitant, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be “on there” or for others to “see me”.  I didn't know what the etiquette was and I felt a little late to the game.  But after some thought, I took the chance and set up an account. The first few weeks and even months, I spent time reconnecting with high school “friends” many who in the past I would have just considered former classmates.  It had been about 8 years since I had seen my old classmates in person at our 10 year reunion and it was fun to see what everyone was up to and how they had changed.  Mostly I caught myself thinking wow they look old…which I am sure is what they were thinking when they “saw” me too!

I remember all the thought I put into choosing my first profile picture.  After all, it would be the first time people would “see me”.  I ended up choosing one from a hike in New Hampshire with my family.  In 2008, I was working in a public school and was job-sharing with a friend.  I worked 2 days a week and had a 4 year old and a 2 year old.  Back in those days, I had to log into my computer to access FB which in hindsight I think kept me from spending too many hours going down the rabbit hole.  Ahh, the good ole days.  

Being on Facebook made me feel cool and hip, it was soon after the start of social media and was definitely a more innocent version of what it is today.  I enjoyed seeing my “friends” families and watching their kids grow up.  It was neat to see what many were into, and it definitely motivated me to do things like biking and triathlons.  Seeing fit classmates motivated me to want to get fit too.  That, I think, was a positive. 

Remember those silly quizzes and posts like “21 things about me”?  I felt so special on my birthday logging in and seeing how many people posted on my page.  I loved the little movies FB made of my pictures at the end of the year, it felt like a short Hallmark commercial starring me. I have to admit, I miss seeing my memories pop up too.  Back then I enjoyed logging in and interacting with people that were not near me logistically but people that I had shared a past with.

As my profile grew, I was hesitant at first on who I should “friend” or accept as a “friend”.  Did I want coworkers to see a different side of me that maybe they didn’t see at work? I worked in a high school and would occasionally get a friend request from a student or students parent that I would immediately delete and block, I made sure my privacy settings were tight.  As the years went on, FB kept changing the game, often without us knowing.  I had to be more vigilant to keep things private but honestly the more I was on the site, the more comfortable I got sharing and accepting friend requests from people I had only just met. 

Gradually things started to change and what started out as a site to share family photos or proud moments became a place for others to freely share their personal views about hot topics that they might not share so easily in person.  I remember around 2010 working with my students on their “privacy circle” and warning them, if they were not comfortable saying their post out loud to a crowded cafeteria, then it might be something they should rethink about posting.  

Many people say it was the 2016 election that changed the current trend on social media but I think it started before then, at least for me.  I started to become more annoyed when I saw more and more “friends” post glowing photos of themselves that didn’t always match reality.  I found myself doing the same.  I remember being frustrated with my kids for not posing the way I wanted them to in a picture because it was something I wanted to post online.  I too wanted others to think my life was fabulous but that got tiring… I felt a love/hate relationship with the site.  I knew too much about people I didn’t really know in real life and found myself getting annoyed by things I saw.  The term Fakebook was often used and I was just as much a part of it.  

As the iPhone became more popular and the camera became better than the antiquated digital camera I bought in 2000, it became much easier to share more photos from everyday life.  I no longer needed to log into my computer, upload pictures, search for the best ones and then post them.  I could simply log on to FB on my phone and upload right away making it way easier to share way more than was really necessary.  

Then there were the selfies, insert eye roll.  Okay, so maybe I was jealous of those who could find the right angle and look amazing in their selfies.  I for one still have never been able to, I tend to always have some perplexed look on my face which has become even worse now that my eyesight is so bad that I can’t see the screen without my cheaters! However, I will concede the one thing I do love about the selfie is it seems to be the only way to get myself in the picture with my family since I am usually the one taking pictures.  I typically ask my kids to hold the camera so I can hide in the back and work desperately to not have the confused look on my face in the photo.  They usually have to take it many times and easily become extremely annoyed with me but every once in a while they hear me exclaim “Ohh this one is good!”.

In April 2021, when my account was hacked and I realized there was no human to connect with on the Facebook team to get my account back, I conceded that I was done.  I held up the white flag.  I thought about all the hours I had lost reading through posts and the fights that seem to ensue under them, especially after the 2016 election, Covid, BLM….  I know I could have blocked those I found offensive but it was like a train wreck for me, I needed to know what people were saying.  I soon found peace when I no longer had access to that noise.  Sure I miss seeing posts and photos from family and others I do care about.  I still have an Instagram account but people my age don’t seem to use it the same way and I tend to just quickly scroll through photos rather than read posts. Maybe someday there will be a vintage FB site and we can go back to 2008 when it truly was just about connecting with others and sharing family photos. Till then, I think I’ll just stick to the occasional Instagram post with my handful of followers and remain blissfully unaware of all the noise on Facebook.